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Three Wishes 1/1



Three Wishes
Author Email: macteague at lycos.com
Date: January 12, 2003
Category: Oddity
Pairing: Hints of Percy/Oliver
Spoilers: Book Four. But if you haven't read it, why are you here? Go get the book from your library or bookstore!
Rating: PG
Summary: Percy finds himself in the enviable position of receiving three wishes.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the characters and entire backstory of this. Not mine, not using them for profit, merely for entertainment and to increase my writing skills. Consider this a sincere form of flattery.


Percy looked gloomily around the shed, mentally calculating the amount of time it was going to take him to clean it. How his mother managed to make a suggestion sound like an order that could not be disobeyed, he'd never been able to figure out. Not for the first time, he wished he could ask the twins what the secret of their immunity was.

The shed had once housed his father's Muggle Automobile, but these days bits and pieces of Muggle contraptions he'd picked up in the course of his job had taken up the space. Even now, Percy could only identify what some of them were for. But his mother wanted the whole thing cleaned and organized, and Percy had been the only one up, so he'd been nominated.

It really wasn't fair to be nineteen and still forced to follow his mother's orders.

Irritably, he threw off his mood, and calculated the most efficient way to get the task done. Grabbing the device nearest him, which was a large, heavy, box with two wires sticking out the top in a "V" shape, he carried out into the yard. It made most sense to empty everything out, then use a spell to clean the floors and walls. If he put the devices in piles outside according to size, it shouldn't take long to organize them afterwards at all.

Percy had cleared out about half the shed when he discovered the lamp. It was small, not much longer than his hand, and looked like it might have been painted gold once. Now the paint had flecked off in most places, and the handle had a distinct bend in it.

Pulling out his wand again, Percy tapped it against the handle, murmuring "reparo." The handle straightened itself out, but the whole lamp abruptly grew so hot that Percy dropped it with a yelp!

"That should not have happened," he growled, glancing around to make sure the twins weren't in the doorway.

The room filled with a haze of purple smoke, making Percy cough, and when it cleared, there stood before him what could only be a Genie. They were a very rare species, and as Percy gave this one a quick once-over, the shimmering purple skin, blue-black hair, harsh expression, and yellow eyes revealed this to be one of the Alustutious clan.

The Genie looked at Percy dubiously. "What can I do for you, oh flame-haired master of..." he glanced around, "this lovely hovel? Wouldst thou have riches? Fame? The heart of a fair maiden?"

Percy stared in silence, knowing full well that not many of the Genies still alive were following their old trade anymore. He'd seen the statistics. The chances of one showing up here of all places…

"Wouldst though have the power of speech returned to you, oh mute, yet still mighty, master? If you wouldst have this be thy first wish, thou must sign these legal disclaimers avowing that thou doth exempt us from any legal consequences resulting from thy wishes."

"Legal documents?" Percy squeaked in disbelief. This innovation he had not heard of, and he made a mental note to look into it Monday at lunch.

The Genie shot Percy a look of annoyance. "Look you, young bespectacled master of hoveldom, times have changed. It is law suits from such wish recipients as thou that hast sorely reduced the numbers of working Genies in the world." He put his hands on his hips, tapping one toe. "Doest thou wish to relinquish thy three wishes, or doest thou wish to sign?"

"No, I'll take my three wishes," Percy said, taking the papers from the Genie. Glancing at the mimeographed pages, his eyes widened. "No wishing for more wishes. No wishing to know what to wish. Any harm that results is on the head of the Wishee, and the Wishee hearby agrees that they will not pursue legal channels about said results with the Grantor of the Wish or the overall Wish-Granting Institution."

"Don't forget to read page four, oh mighty flamehead of graciousness," the Genie instructed, turning the pages and pointing to a highlighted paragraph.

"The Wishee will get a chance to undo the Wish after being shown what the changes will be by the Wish Grantor; however, once a Wish has been wished by the Wishee, that Wish is over and done with, regardless of whether the Wishee chooses to keep the changes."

"In other words, your skinny masterness, if you make a wish and don't like the results, the results don't last, but the wish is still gone." Most of the Genie's strange way of phrasing things was gone, which caused Percy to look at him suspiciously.

"Fred and George didn't have anything to do with this, did they?"

"Is it your wish that they should have?"

Percy thought very carefully before speaking, remembering how tricky it was rumoured to be to get all three wishes from a Genie. "That was a question regarding existing circumstances, not a wish one way or another."

The Genie narrowed his eyes, looking at Percy, and Percy could almost see the mental re-evaluation happening. It was a look he was quite familiar with from his work at the Ministry. "You are most clever, oh long nosed one!" He smiled slightly. "I do not know how I ended up here, but the fact remains that you have awoken me, and have thus the right to three wishes, according to the Genie Workers Union, Section 5, Paragraph A."

"I'm familiar with the document," Percy said, with a nod.

"You are?" Now the Genie looked faintly nervous.

"Of course. I work for the Ministry of Magic; it's my job to be familiar with even the more esoteric of documents, as they could become an issue. That document is due for amendments in sixteen years; I could be the one assigned to it." Percy believed in being prepared for as many possibilities as possible. Especially after the incident with Crouch, he was determined not to allow any unexpected events to disturb his plans.

"You are quite mad, oh freckled master of quills," the Genie said, frankly. "What shall your first wish be?"

It was too easy to decide what his first wish would be. The phrasing of it was the catch. "I wish Voldemort's plan to catch Harry at the Triwizard cup had failed." He tried not to shiver as he said the name, but you needed to be specific when dealing with Genies. Euphemisms were too easily misinterpreted.

"Very well," said the Genie, raising all four of his arms above his head. He swept them wide with a sound like an explosion, and purple haze filled the shed again.

When Percy stopped coughing, and cleaned his glasses off, he found himself standing in the midst of wreckage that seemed to go on forever. There was nothing familiar around him at all, except for the dimly seen shapes of witches and wizards searching through the debris. "What happened?" Percy asked.

It wasn't the Genie who answered, but Percy's brother, Bill, from behind him. "You-Know-Who somehow got enough of his Death Eaters into Hogwarts with explosive devices to destroy the castle. Once the dementors were on the grounds, even Dumbledore couldn't stop them."

Percy looked at Bill in shock. He was thinner than Percy, now, and his long red hair hung lank and greasy, half out of its ponytail. A recent scar cut across the top of one eye, causing the eyelid to droop strangely.

"What about Ron and Ginny... the twins, and Harry and the rest?"

"You-Know-Who has Harry by now, Percy. I imagine he's dead."

Percy blinked back tears. "The rest?"

"We're still looking," Bill said, with what was clearly intended to be a hopeful expression on his face. "We may still find them."

Percy looked around the debris, and strongly doubted they were going to find any survivors here.

Purple haze filled Percy's vision again, and he turned to see the Genie. "This isn't what I wished for. What part did I incorrectly indicate?"

"This is exactly what you wished for, oh generous master," the Genie said indignantly. "Harry Potter was not captured by Voldemort at the Tri-Wizard cup."

"I should have specified that he never be caught by him," Percy muttered.

"Who are you talking to?" Bill asked, at the same time the Genie said, "I cannot do the impossible!"

"Impossible?" Percy gasped.

"There is no timeline in which Harry Potter isn't caught by Voldemort. Some things are non negotiable, oh limited-in-comprehension yet still magnificent master."

"I can erase this wish, right?" Percy said, steadfastly ignoring Bill.

"Do you choose to have all return to the way it was?"

"Yes."

Percy found himself standing back in the shed, glaring at the Genie. "You might have warned me. I wasn't wishing for anything frivolous, as the records indicate most of your clients do!"

"I cannot warn you of these things, temperamental one."

"Why not?"

"It's not in my nature," the Genie shrugged. "However, since you are so upset, may I suggest that small wishes generally turn out better than large ones?"

"All right," Percy sighed. "Just give me a few minutes to think, okay?"

"Very well, oh master of caution and subtlety."

"And stop calling me names."

"What names, great one?" Asked the Genie.

Percy sighed, and decided now was not the time to argue with the traditional modes of address of Genies. "Never mind."

Clearly, Harry's destiny was unchangeable, and he couldn't even begin to guess what other factors he could change. There were too many parameters to take into consideration. A small wish, one that affected only him, might work. An idea began to grow in his mind, perhaps spurred by the lampooning he'd received from the twins the night before, when they had taken offense to his explanation of his latest work task.

He rose to his feet and stood in front of the slightly bored looking Genie. "For my second wish, then, I would like to be treated with respect by my family, coworkers, and peers, and have them listen to what I say."

The Genie's smile was not at all reassuring. "Of course, oh master of everything!"

He raised his arms towards the sky in supplication, then flung them wide again, purple haze, and what looked like red dust, filling the room. Percy had just a moment to hope that the red dust would vanish when the Genie did, as it would be a terrible pain to clean up.

He found himself seated at the head of the table, with his family around him.

"Would you like another leg, Percy?" his mother asked him, looking anxious.

"Yes, please," he said, looking around. His brothers and Ginny seemed unusually quiet.

"So Percy, what do you think I should do, son?" His father asked anxiously.

Percy bit back a gleeful grin. His father was actually asking him for his opinion! It worked! "What should you do about what, Dad?"

"Do you think that it's okay if we let McAlester get away with having burned that house down, with the children in it, since he's bringing desperately needed money for the cause? Without his money, we can't afford to arm the giants. Without the giants, we can't win the war. Yet he IS a cold blooded murderer, and will likely kill again."

Percy was shocked. "You should arrest him at once, Dad! Confiscate his money, and then both problems are solved!"

Arthur looked worried. "Well, I would do as you say, of course, but if we arrest McAlester, his wife will have no source of income. There's no one to take her and her children in. Do you really think we should arrest him? " He waved a hand in the air anxiously as if to stop Percy from speaking. "I'm not questioning your judgment, Percy, I'm sorry."

"No, you're right Dad, it's more complicated than it seems. What were you thinking of doing?" Chastised, Percy hung his head.

"Well, I don't know, Son. That's why I'm asking you!"

Percy stared in shock, and found his entire family anxiously awaiting his answer. The twins gazed at him as though he held the answers to life itself. That alone was enough to disturb Percy far more than he'd have expected.

"Genie!" Percy yelled.

"What, oh truly-impressive-lung-powered one?" The Genie inquired, voice mild, as he appeared beside Percy.

"You deliberately took that wish beyond the bounds of common sense. I didn't say I didn't want them to be able to make their own decisions!"

The Genie shrugged. "Well, you said you wanted them to listen to you and respect you." He gestured at Ron, who was literally perched on the edge of his seat waiting for anything Percy might care to share. "They do."

Fuming, Percy said, "Undo the wish."

"As you say, my master."

"That wasn't FAIR," Percy said, pacing, and shaking the red dust off of himself.

"How old are you supposed to be, oh judgmental one?" The Genie said, a distinctly snide tone in his voice.

"19," muttered Percy, although he was aware it was a rhetorical question.

"That explains a lot," the Genie muttered, before taking up floating and looking inscrutable again.

Percy paced back and forth across the shed. One wish left. Obviously the Genie was going to twist any change he might wish for, and waste this wish the way the first two had been. Although perhaps the first wish hadn't been such a waste after all, because at least he now knew that there was no way to have prevented You-Know-Who's return. And really he now knew that he didn't want everyone looking to him for all the answers, although it would still be nice if they'd at least ASK his opinion from time to time.

Knew. Knowledge. Knowledge had its own sort of power, and knowledge in the right hands, might make all the difference in the world. It had to be knowledge he could use himself, as he might have trouble convincing anyone else of its veracity.

"Genie. I have a question I need to ask before I make my wish. Will you answer it?"

The Genie looked slightly startled, "Very well, young master firehead, since you ask politely."

"You can more or less see all the possible timelines that stretch from here, is that correct?"

"Yes, that is so. But I cannot tell you all of them, so do not even bother wishing it."

The Genie looked curious now, and that might be just what Percy needed. "Very well, my third wish is that you tell me what I can do, starting now, to defeat Voldemort and improve both my life and my family's lives."

"You're asking me for ADVICE?" The Genie gasped.

"Yes. You can see all the possibilities. What can I do that will bring us closest to the best circumstances. I'd ask what could be done overall, but I highly doubt my father or Dumbledore would listen to me, even if you told me."

The Genie's harsh face softened slightly. "No one's ever asked me for advice before, oh astute one, " he said gravely. "Very well, listen, and listen well, for you will only hear this once. Continue your research in your free moments at work. You are correct, if somewhat obsessive, in your belief that the more information you have, the more assistance you will be. Pay attention to those whose opinion and experience you value. Learn from them, and also learn from their mistakes. That is all I will say about your part in the war. When you say that you wish to improve your family's lives by some action of your own, I can only say this: Let them know you. Stop telling them how smart you are and how fast you are advancing. They already know. Instead tell them why it is so important to you. If they knew that you felt called to the Ministry because you saw so many unfair laws, they would understand why you feel your job is important. Ron in particular may have more sympathy for your causes of humane treatment of House Elves and re-classifying Werewolves as Beings than you expect. Try listening more to your younger siblings. It means more to them than you know, when you listen without judgment."

Indignant, Percy opened his mouth to speak, but the Genie was not done. "At work, tell your co-workers what you are doing and why. You'll find they are much more cooperative when they are not expected to follow you blindly. Oh, and the next letter you write to Oliver; send it to him via Hermes, rather than burning it. Communication works better when you communicate with a person rather than the cosmos in general. When he asks if you want to meet up, say 'yes'.

Percy blushed and squirmed, not liking this exposure of his most closely guarded secrets, even in an empty shed. "He isn't interested-"

"I strongly urge you to give him the chance to decide whether or not he's interested, oh flaming-faced one," the Genie continued genially. "My final advice is that you do not snap at your brother when you discover he's been standing in the doorway this whole time. An interesting conversation might result."

Dust went everywhere, leaving Percy blinking and staring at the small dent in the floor where the lamp had stood. Desperately hoping it wasn't one of the twins behind him, Percy slowly turned towards the door.

Charlie was leaning against the doorframe, with a faint smirk. "Consorting with Genies, Percy?"

"Only a fool would walk away from the opportunity," Percy said stiffly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came out to see if you'd like some help," Charlie said, gingerly stepping on the layer of thick red dust covering the floor. "It looks like you might."

Percy bit back the obvious comment. It didn't make any sense to ask the Genie and then disregard his advice. "Yes, I could use some help," he said, quietly.

Charlie smiled, clearly pleased, and Percy reflected that the Genie might be on the right track after all. "So, Percy, you're planning to reform the ministry from the inside."

Charlie looked rather more amused than Percy would have liked, but he drew a deep breath, asked the God of Patience for an extra share, and answered. "I want to change a few things, yes. I AM aware that it will take a long time, if you're planning on lecturing me on the unliklihood of my actually achieving my goals."

Charlie looked surprised. "Percy, no one who knows you would ever think you wouldn't achieve anything you set out to do. You are remarkably... determined."

"Oh." Well, that was a new idea to digest. "The twins would."

"Oh, the twins know you'll achieve your goals. You've just always left them to try to guess what those goals are."

Percy handed Charlie a large vase, wondering why on earth his father kept it out there, and Charlie took it out onto the lawn. They worked in silence for a while, clearing out the junk, until Percy finally noticed the looks Charlie kept giving him.

"What?"

"So who's Oliver? Do I know him?"

"No, he was just one of my roommates at Hogwarts."

"A friend?" Charlie asked, carefully setting aside a box of small plastic tubes.

Percy blushed, and wished himself somewhere far away. "Of sorts."

"More than a friend?"

Percy nearly choked. "No! Do you think the entire family wouldn't know if he had been?"

"I never know with you," Charlie said, more seriously than Percy expected. Percy was at a loss for words. "C'mon, let's get this done."

"You're not going to harass me about Oliver?" Percy asked.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not going to harass you." A smirk, and then he added. "But I'd be glad to help with the letter, if you need it."

"I can write my own letter," Percy said, horrified by the idea.

Charlie laughed, and Percy heard the sounds of the rest of the family getting up. His mother was yelling at the twins, and Ginny was humming, probably in the garden next to the shed. While he hadn't exactly gotten any wishes, Percy found himself thinking that the world looked a lot better than it had an hour earlier.

~~

After Percy left to go get washed for lunch, Charlie looked around the now clean and orderly shed, and called quietly, "Still there, Phil?"

The Genie reappeared, without any smoke, dust, or pyrotechnics, a cheerful expression on his face. "Your brother surprised me," he said.

"He rather surprised me as well," Charlie admitted. "I know you've got an appointment tomorrow, but I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to talk to Percy."

Phil laughed, clapping Charlie on the back jovially. "No trouble at all, Charlie. You know we can never repay you for the incident with Raskefallion."

"Consider us even," Charlie offered, smiling. "I just had an actual conversation with my brother for the first time in years. It was a very strange experience."

"Just remember not to laugh when he receives a reply to the letter he's sending to Oliver tonight," Phil advised.

He vanished, leaving Charlie to contemplate wishes.

The End.


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